A few months ago I was convicted.
Convicted of not liking one of God’s beautiful creations.
I did not like myself. There were several reasons why I didn’t like myself. Some were legitimate. Like that I am too judgmental and that I tend to interrupt people when they are talking.
There were also reason that were not legitimate, like that I thought I was ugly and too pudgy.
Now perhaps I am a little too pudgy in the middle. This is not a reason to not like myself. It’s a reason to start exercising again. I “pudged-out” because I stopped working out.
Not liking myself because I was “ugly” was unacceptable. I am created by God. I am His beautiful creation.
The legitimate things like being judgmental and interrupting I am working out with the Lord’s leading and His help.
I’ve started exercising again so The Pudge will soon be gone (or at least a lot less!)
The ugly thing, well has been harder for me.
The Ugly Truth
I wore make-up to cover up my ugliness.
To fit in with my friends.
To be acceptable.
To be pretty.
I did not like what I looked like which meant I did not like what God created. When I realized this I realized I needed to make a change and accept myself the way I was.
I decided I was going to wear make up as little as possible.
My husband thinks I’m beautiful without make up. He commented all the time early on in our marriage that he loved me just the way I was. I would shush him and tell him I needed to put on my face before we went anywhere.
I was turning down a compliment because I didn’t like myself. I didn’t even realize I was being complimented. I just thought he was saying it because he had to – because that was what men do.
A Heart Issue
Not wearing make-up was not going to change the way I thought about myself. That was a heart issue. Something that I needed to hand over to the Lord and allow him to reveal truths to me and heal me of insecurities and hurts that I didn’t’ realize I had.
Growing up with a cleft lip I got made fun of all the time in school. I was never popular, never pretty and I never really fit in.
I strived to fit in somewhere and cover up what I really looked like with make-up so that people wouldn’t notice the scar above my lip.
An Outward Expression of Healing
Not wearing make-up was just my way of expressing to my flesh that I was no different with or without make-up.
Make-up did not make me.
I am beautiful the way God made me. He did not make a mistake and he surely did not want me to spend my life striving to look different.
I’ve come full circle so to speak.
I still think make-up makes me look better. It accentuates my natural beauty but it doesn’t cover it up.
I try to put on at least foundation and some blush especially on the days that I look tired or if I’m going somewhere special. Work and the grocery store aren’t special enough anymore. Church, date night, coffee with a friend –that’s special enough.
I want to look nice for my husband and make-up with a natural look does just that.
For me, makeup has become an accent, an accessory but not a necessity.
Do you wear make-up? Have you ever asked yourself why?
Until Next Time,